Contest for the most stupid and the vote are in?

Aug 13, 2007 by nana4dakids | Posted in Jokes & Riddles

Subject: Contest for the most stupid
Eighth Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in
two feet of water after squeezing head first through
an 18-inch wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.


Seventh Place
A 49-year-old stockbroker in San Francisco that "wholly
zoned when he ran, "accidentally ran out of a 100-foot
high cliff on his return a day while talking on his cell phone
phone.

Sixth Place
In Buxton, North Carolina a man dead on a beach when a
8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as
he sat inside. Bathers said Daniel Jones, 21,
the hole for fun, or protection against wind and
had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom
Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him
below 5 feet of sand. People on the beach in the
Outer Banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to
claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA
but could not reach him.It took rescue workers using
Heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about
200 people watched. Jones was pronounced dead at a
hospital.

Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as
fell headlong through the ceiling of a bicycle
store that was robbed. Death occurred when the
long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep
hands free) crashed against the base of his skull as
hit the ground.

Fourth place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville,
Del, as he won a bet with friends who said
Do not put a revolver loaded with four bullets in his
mouth and pull the trigger.
[As Ron White says often: "You can not fix stupid."
They show that it is a terminal condition. As
always, competition this year has
made much effort.]

Third Place
The mind boggling attempt after a crime wave
Washington, DC, appeared to be the thief of the first
(and last), due to its lack of a prior registration of
violence, and their options dumb terminal:
1.Its aim was H & J Leather & Firearms: a gun shop
specializing in firearms.
2. The store was full of customers - firearms
customers.
3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a
marked police patrol car parked at the front door.
4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter,
having coffee before work. Upon seeing the officer,
the would-be robber announced a holdup, and fired a
few wild shots from a pistol shot.
The officer and a clerk immediately to the fire, the
police officer with 9 mm Glock 17, the employee with a
50 cal.DESERT EAGLE, assisted by several customers,
, Who also drew their weapons, some of whom also drew
and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene
by paramedics. Scene investigators located 47 Crime
Spent cartridge cases at the store. The subsequent
The autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics
identified rounds from 7 different weapons. Nobody
else was injured in the fire exchange.

HONORABLE MENTION:
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
Township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured,
when a quarter-stick of dynamite exploded in his car.
While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the
of dynamite and tried to throw out the window to see
what would happen, but apparently did not notice the
window was closed.

Runner up:
Tacoma, WA: Kerry Bingham had been drinking with
several friends when one of them said they knew a
person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows
Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation
hotter and at least 10 men went along the
walkway bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at
the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that nobody had
brought an elastic cord.
Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteers and
noted that a coil of wire lineman was near
by.Bingham One end of the cable was secured around
leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall
lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his
foot at the ankle. Miraculously survived
fall into the icy salt water and was rescued by two
fishermen nearby.
"All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was
looking out for me tonight. There is simply no
another explanation. "Bingham's foot was never
found.

And the winner ...
Zookeeper Friedrich overzealous Riesfeldt
(Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant
Stefan 22 doses
of animal laxative and more than a bushel,
figs and prunes before the plugged-pachyderm
Finally, let fly and suffocated the keeper under
200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fatal Friedrich, 46, was
trying to give the sick elephant an olive oil
relief enema when the beast turned on him. "The
the sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation
called Mr.Riesfeldt the ground, where he hit
head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant
continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him, "said
flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.
With no one there to help, he was in all that
manure at least one hour before a watchman came
along, and during that time he suffocated.
It seems to be one of those freak accidents that
test ... "SHIT (eventually) happens.

As sad and funny as all this is, I'm pretty sure I have at least 4 members of my family that I could see doing these same things. My husband would dig a hole 8 feet on the beach and sit on it. And I can see the winner of my sister, but only one horse is not an elephant. I know that, sometimes hope that my little sister would be a cliff. My brother was jumping off a bridge. So thank you, very funny. I hope your family is a little more like mine.